
- They are generally stable in their job
- They have bought their first home
- They are financially ok
- They are bored
- Everyone else has and they are feeling left out
Yeah the last couple of remarks are a bit cynical! But if I'm analysing the last few couples I know who have got engaged they all fall into that category! My lovely cousin got married in May and I just got the impression from talking to her friends at the wedding (the type of people I do not usually mingle with- but that's for another blog!) that this whole marriage thing is just a big competition, it harks back to the competitiveness there was at school.
Anyway yes I DO want to get married BUT I'm not doing it now because everyone else is, even though I get those little thoughts creeping into my head sometimes. I made a marker in my future life timeline (everyone has those, right?) that I won't get married before 30 because I honestly feel that I'm not emotionally ready yet, I don't even class myself as an adult half the time! My boyfriend agrees! He's a year younger than me anyway.
Have you ever been unconvinced that people don't actually love each other? Then you hear that they got engaged and you're like 'what the hell?' I'm sure they don't hate one another, they seem to tolerate one another but they don't convince you that they are really IN love.
Anyway I keep coming across couples like that at the moment. It brings me back to people thinking that the whole marriage thing is a competition. They panic when others are doing it before them and they decide to 'settle' for what they've got or if they're unattached then they'll find someone hastily who is just 'ok' and settle for them because searching/waiting for 'the one' is just too much hassle and way too time-consuming.
Anyway I keep coming across couples like that at the moment. It brings me back to people thinking that the whole marriage thing is a competition. They panic when others are doing it before them and they decide to 'settle' for what they've got or if they're unattached then they'll find someone hastily who is just 'ok' and settle for them because searching/waiting for 'the one' is just too much hassle and way too time-consuming.
There was a very interesting article about this in a Sunday supplement recently about 'settling' for someone. Basically imagine you have a boyfriend, he's reliable, has a comfortable amount of money, he gets on with your family, he's not amazingly good looking BUT he will 'do' so to speak. So what if there's no huge spark or lots of fun and giggles, he'll be ok financially, he will get on with everyone round your parents at Christmas and you think he'll make a nice Dad some day. But I could never do that. There has to be a bit of 'je ne sais quoi' about a person in order to commit to spend the rest of your days with them. Thankfully in my heart I believe I've found that.

A massive generalisation I am now going to make: once people get married, they get boring! There are certain marrieds who I've given up on inviting out with us because they always say no, maybe they just don't want to hang out with people who aren't married? They're in a new exclusive club, I shouldn't forget that.

A massive generalisation I am now going to make: once people get married, they get boring! There are certain marrieds who I've given up on inviting out with us because they always say no, maybe they just don't want to hang out with people who aren't married? They're in a new exclusive club, I shouldn't forget that.
So do you really want to know how to bag your man? Well this interesting (did I say interesting, no I meant RIDICULOUS!!!!) article I found tells you how to get your man to propse to you? If you try this and it works, please contact me. I like to have a laugh. I honestly question whether the person who wrote that article was on glue.
Oh and if you ever thought weddings were a silly waste of money, take a look at this site to see how much you can spend on a cake. Shock. Horror.
To satisfy your visual appetite I've included a couple of my favorite celebrity wedding dresses: Gwen Stefani at the top the page and Dita Von Teese (what a vamp) at the bottom.
Right, now I'm off to plan my wedding. Just kidding.
To satisfy your visual appetite I've included a couple of my favorite celebrity wedding dresses: Gwen Stefani at the top the page and Dita Von Teese (what a vamp) at the bottom.
Right, now I'm off to plan my wedding. Just kidding.
2 comments:
Let's take your points one by one:
* They are generally stable in their job
--I guess I'm stable in mine, although you couldn't exactly say it was a career choice ;)
* They have bought their first home
--D'oh! I'll get right on that.
* They are financially ok
--Let's move on.
* They are bored
--Y'know, I get the feeling...
* Everyone else has and they are feeling left out
--...I should cut my losses here.
Truth be told no matter how careful you are you can never fully predict you'll get married and live happily ever after. I mean life just isn't like that in any area, but regardless (or perhaps in spite) of this I do still believe in this fickle age it's possible to hold onto somebody you truly love and make it work. I would hate going through life thinking the opposite. Of course nowadays it's even easier to communicate with those far away, so there really is no excuse.
Somebody I know (who fairly recently broke up with a long-term girlfriend) has become girl-obsessed, and there's nothing wrong with that, I just think it's the wrong frame of mind to be in. If you find love you find it - let it take its course. With that comes solid foundations if you wish to marry in the future. If someone marries because they feel pressured (by others doing the same) then they're not really mature enough anyway, I reckon. If you're not doing it for yourself - when you're ready - then it's doomed to failure.
The problem of marriages becoming dull, stale and boring seems to have existed since marriages began, hey? I'm not really sure how to answer that without sounding like an Agony Aunt/Uncle, and since I'm not actually married I think anything I'd write would be pointless anyway. Who wants to listen to the inexperienced? Still, who wants to listen to the 'experienced' person who's been married, say, 3+ times? ;)
Gosh, I babble.
wow. That article has really opened my eyes to the complexities and intricacies involved in marriage. I particularly like the warnings section at the end. "Be sure you want to marry him." is definitely a point for the end of the article, no?
Good laugh and good points on this entry. I shall read more...
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